Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
