Where did you get a picture of my penis
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
