At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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