Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
