god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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