yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
