the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
