i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
