hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
