remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Who died my cat blue again?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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