I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
