thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
