Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
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