I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize