If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
