We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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