I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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