I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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