Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
