Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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