Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
a search helicopter?!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
