Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
