I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.