He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
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apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
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so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in