And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
