haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
