I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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