I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
