i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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