There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I will pee on everything he values.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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