didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Jerry, you need to find god
this beer tastes like vomit already
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
