Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
