If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
