return my video game
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize