i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
