so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
