don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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