Yo dont text me then not text me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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