I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so let's talk penis.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
