I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
