I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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