I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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