yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
