I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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