It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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