fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
