are you still at the devil's house?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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