I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
