Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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