is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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