I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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