hotel room ftw
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
