WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's shark week go big or go home
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
