it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
my liver is dry heaving
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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