Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this just has baby written all over it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
