I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
no more duck duck goose at the bar
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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