I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
that's an acceptable place to lick
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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