just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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