I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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