Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
