I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize