I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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