Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize