Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
