did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
