just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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